zingline89

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Offline (the 02/13/2016 at 10:20pm)

zingline89

26Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 1 July 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8472
  • Number of comments : 448
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.

zingline89's page activity

Visits<b>Awkwardnessbore</b> - 3 hours ago<b>CrazedSanity</b> - 14 hours ago<b>taby448</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 2:37am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 12:07pm<b>MrValeska</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 11:15pm<b>theonewithasmile</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 2:10pm<b>Drobo</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 1:59am<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 9:41pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 1:09pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 7:29pm<b>dBLIZZARD</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 5:24pm<b>JohnTheDonJuan</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 8:56am<b>oyeh</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 7:19pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:39pm<b>jet223</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 3:24pm<b>bjnono001</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 7:57pm<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 11:45am<b>RaRitsujun</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 2:13pm

Fucked!<b>theonewithasmile</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 8:10pm<b>Roxas_hearts</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 3:41am<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 1:29am<b>thefaekitten</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 5:45pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:24pm<b>theBalloonPerson</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 5:05pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 4:27pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 5:55am<b>Supaviper</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 4:46am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:56am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:28am<b>Chronomay</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:22pm<b>eck1220</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:00am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 3:45pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:50pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 1:46pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 12:27am<b>ZombieSazza</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:35pm

zingline89's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of zingline89's badges

zingline89's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my recurring acne is actually bedbug bites. I have wasted about a hundred dollars on acne cream. FML

by thisentiretime... / 03/18/2013 at 4:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

by Susan / 03/18/2013 at 4:59am / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

by dumbass for a flatmate / 03/02/2013 at 9:35pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

by notapervert / 02/28/2013 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm / United States / Love

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

by HeatherRosure18 / 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, at my mother's funeral, as everyone was around her casket for the viewing, my 5-year-old son in cluelessness of what was going on shouted, "Grandma is more fun when she isn't sleeping." Everyone cried. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

by Fox / 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

by Laila / 02/20/2013 at 7:01am / United States / Kids

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2013 at 3:35am / Intimacy

Today, after being in the hospital for 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, my girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me and send me straight back home. FML

by noname / 02/17/2013 at 8:28pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

by gassy / 02/12/2013 at 9:18am / United States / Love