About zingline89 : Real estate investor and salesman. If you think something I said was stupid, you most likely failed to sense the sarcasm. Either that or I just said something really stupid.
zingline89's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
zingline89's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML
by Anonymous / 11/05/2011 at 8:04pm / Reserved / Intimacy
by Unemployed / 10/16/2011 at 3:15am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
by btchzloveit / 09/29/2011 at 8:27am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Miscellaneous
by fml / 09/27/2011 at 3:25pm / United States / Health
by Jesus / 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
by Yuuucky / 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by Oops / 09/26/2011 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML
by eeh / 05/07/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…