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zieelona's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by FMBs / 04/30/2014 at 7:40pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by socially awkward / 03/10/2012 at 1:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/02/2012 at 10:54am / United States / Health
by KJL / 08/29/2011 at 11:38am / United States / Health
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…
- Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over… Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was… Today, my husband won't talk to me because he got mad when I asked him what he thought about 'that…