Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zerstinick

Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 1:03am) | Search for a member

zerstinick

2Fucked!

zerstinickzerstinick
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 March 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1048
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About zerstinick : Here to kick back and enjoy the FMLs, message me if you like, I don't mind

zerstinick's page activity

Visits<b>RAH94</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:51am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 8:48pm<b>Marie54321</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 8:18am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:35pm<b>TopiaryOwl</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 1:08am<b>blushes1807</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:57pm<b>aleahlioness</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:08am<b>Connerm</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 4:44pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:58pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:38pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Already_Dead</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 8:53pm<b>starlight300</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:35pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 3:30am<b>LilGonzo99</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:03pm<b>rachaelward</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 5:00am<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 1:48am<b>Tika876</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:12am

Fucked!<b>TopiaryOwl</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 7:08am<b>juststephhere</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:58pm

zerstinick's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of zerstinick's badges

zerstinick's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend of six months that giving another guy a blow job IS cheating. FML

#19105085
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49227) - you deserved it (4204)

On 02/18/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by hatinthelife - United States (Utah)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52014) - you deserved it (8702)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put on a pair of sneakers that I'd left outside, and went jogging. After several minutes of pain, I pulled off one of the sneakers, only to find dozens of baby spiders had moved in. FML

#18824245
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35253) - you deserved it (10894)

On 01/16/2012 at 12:10pm - animals - by moorox45 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

#18781319
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27012) - you deserved it (2366)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:00am - kids - by tiredoffamilydinners (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46578) - you deserved it (7429)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I invited a few of my co-workers over to play video games. Within an hour, my wife had gotten drunk, grabbed my controller, told me to "get back in the kitchen", and described to everyone in blood-chilling detail how she took her first boyfriend's virginity. FML

#18591891
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30669) - you deserved it (3608)

On 12/23/2011 at 7:26pm - misc - by ThinZ (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52038) - you deserved it (8202)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML

#18474670
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48471) - you deserved it (12731)

On 12/10/2011 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Anonymousss95 - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34317) - you deserved it (3563)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35822) - you deserved it (3363)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was caught stealing a video game. I realized after my parents were called that the case was actually empty. FML

#18299655
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6659) - you deserved it (80472)

On 11/20/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Emil - United States

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

#18271513
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38093) - you deserved it (5516)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57127) - you deserved it (4092)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML

#18145406
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42908) - you deserved it (3168)

On 11/03/2011 at 5:18am - misc - by Grounded (woman) - United States

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

#18093315
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32627) - you deserved it (2749)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: