Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

zerstinick

Offline (3 hours ago) | Search for a member

zerstinick

2Liked!

zerstinickzerstinick
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 March 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 879
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About zerstinick : Here to kick back and enjoy the FMLs, message me if you like, I don't mind

zerstinick's page activity

Visits<b>RAH94</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:51am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 8:48pm<b>Marie54321</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 8:18am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:35pm<b>TopiaryOwl</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 1:08am<b>blushes1807</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:57pm<b>aleahlioness</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:08am<b>Connerm</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 4:44pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:58pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:38pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Already_Dead</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 8:53pm<b>starlight300</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:35pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 3:30am<b>LilGonzo99</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:03pm<b>rachaelward</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 5:00am<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 1:48am<b>Tika876</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 2:12am

Liked!<b>TopiaryOwl</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 7:08am<b>juststephhere</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:58pm

zerstinick's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of zerstinick's badges

zerstinick's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59056) - you deserved it (10927)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

#19942968
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24018) - you deserved it (1805)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38684) - you deserved it (4608)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6252) - you deserved it (80855)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

#19749862
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34257) - you deserved it (5828)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36179) - you deserved it (2612)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

#19646260
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38983) - you deserved it (5171)

On 05/19/2012 at 11:08am - intimacy - by maggierose171 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44316) - you deserved it (4060)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML

#19484170
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27037) - you deserved it (3859)

On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86677) - you deserved it (4261)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia

Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17648) - you deserved it (45345)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40067) - you deserved it (5848)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized the $40 iPhone case I bought to keep my new phone from getting scratched, scratched my iPhone. FML

#19114135
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (5984)

On 02/19/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by LadyGore - Canada (Alberta)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • OK jkjk it was FMLS April Fools
  •   Yah its know over, ive stoppd wrotting… Sorry, I'll try again. There, it's over, I can stop typing TXT language with my forehead. Yes, you probably cottened on that it was our little…

Monday 30 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: