zerstinick

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Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 1:03am)

zerstinick

2Fucked!

zerstinickzerstinick
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 March 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1439
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About zerstinick : Here to kick back and enjoy the FMLs, message me if you like, I don't mind

zerstinick's page activity

Visits<b>bowmanwb</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 11:37pm<b>RAH94</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:51am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 8:48pm<b>Marie54321</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 8:18am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:35pm<b>TopiaryOwl</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 1:08am<b>blushes1807</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:57pm<b>aleahlioness</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 2:08am<b>Connerm</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 4:44pm<b>juststephhere</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:58pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 1:38pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Already_Dead</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 8:53pm<b>starlight300</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:35pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 3:30am<b>LilGonzo99</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:03pm<b>rachaelward</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 5:00am<b>waffule365</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 1:48am

Fucked!<b>TopiaryOwl</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 7:08am<b>juststephhere</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:58pm

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zerstinick's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

by fuck my arse / 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm / United Kingdom (Reading) / Intimacy

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 06/05/2013 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 1:38am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm / United Kingdom (York) / Animals

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous