zarco51

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zarco51

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1536
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About zarco51 : hi

zarco51's page activity

Visits<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:33am

zarco51's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

zarco51's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

by poop / 03/08/2009 at 7:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

by ohmygoodness / 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML

by fittingroompotty / 03/02/2009 at 8:38am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

by riappp / 02/25/2009 at 10:31am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML

by Sick / 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML

by ripdivine / 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

by addictedtofml / 02/24/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

by Debbie / 02/23/2009 at 9:16am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML

by Noname / 02/19/2009 at 6:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

by wow / 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML

by fatass / 02/19/2009 at 2:36am / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

by notsohappy / 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

by john / 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Love