About zandalee : So excited for 2014!!
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zandalee's favorite FMLs
by Tattery / 07/03/2014 at 7:55pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
by yepintheladiesroom / 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by wendtinmypants / 05/31/2014 at 11:05am / United States (Nebraska) / Love
Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from 3rd grade and figured out how to play the highest pitch note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of ibuprofen. FML
by missmom83 / 04/24/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by pablito / 04/17/2014 at 6:37am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals
by gerontofuck / 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML
by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
by so scared / 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by DeeDee / 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm / Bahrain (Al Manamah) / Kids
Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML
by Anonymous / 01/26/2014 at 12:10am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML
by pianoplayer / 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…