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zandalee

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zandalee
  • Town/Country : Christchurch, NZ
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1954
  • Number of comments : 1564
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About zandalee : So excited for 2014!!

zandalee's last visitors

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zandalee's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm 25 years old, I've got an education and I only now found out in front of 15 people that, no, sparrows are not small pigeons that are going to grow up. FML

#21115335
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11836) - you deserved it (19831) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/17/2014 at 6:37am - animals - by pablito - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

#21113897
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30312) - you deserved it (2954)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

#21095689
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45193) - you deserved it (10997)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35795) - you deserved it (4519)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

#21054343
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40103) - you deserved it (5234)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

#21050455
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47611) - you deserved it (4477)

On 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by DeeDee - Austria (Wien)

Today, my daughter hugged me around the neck and whispered, "I'm going to cut your head off." I'm afraid to go to sleep now. FML

#21043189
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40426) - you deserved it (4686)

On 01/28/2014 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

#21040204
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45863) - you deserved it (3615)

On 01/26/2014 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41017) - you deserved it (2390)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48901) - you deserved it (5423)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6875) - you deserved it (37811)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML

#20479103
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (1263)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, after finishing a song during karaoke, a man came up to me and held out his hand. Quite flattered, I shook it, said thanks and that I was glad he enjoyed it. Turns out he was next and just wanted the microphone. FML

#20049122
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14949) - you deserved it (8191)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

#20043181
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you deserved it (2516)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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