About z0mBi3kiTTy : soft paws meow
z0mBi3kiTTy's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
z0mBi3kiTTy's favorite FMLs
Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by myboyfriendisweird / 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML
by Q / 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- Today, I walked in on my Mum and Dad having sex and didn't even realize what they were doing until… Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel… Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples.…
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan.… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…