About z0mBi3kiTTy : soft paws meow
z0mBi3kiTTy's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
z0mBi3kiTTy's favorite FMLs
Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by myboyfriendisweird / 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML
by Q / 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
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- Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it… Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came,… Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and…