Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

yoursucklives

Search for a member

yoursucklives

37Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2939
  • Number of comments : 298
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About yoursucklives :

You can message me, if you have something interesting to say.

yoursucklives's page activity

Visits<b>insertnamehere37</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 6:35am<b>jesuis_julie</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 4:45am<b>k9kid</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 9:04am<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:55pm<b>STRAWBERRY03</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:56pm<b>Logicscmogic</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:00pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 11:19am<b>Pandaling</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:15am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:45am<b>FaizSiddiqui</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 6:44am<b>paravoz</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:11am<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:11am<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 10:46pm<b>C7</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 10:45pm<b>zjay</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 10:25pm<b>myeviltwin</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 8:36pm<b>qbgroh3</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 8:10pm<b>CriminalScrub</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:38pm

Fucked!<b>paravoz</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:12am<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 6:11am<b>Matheo</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 9:32pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 8:46pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:41am<b>jacky75</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 1:10pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 12:12am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:05pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Cads1</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:16pm<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:26am<b>Isak366</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 4:38am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:34am<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:31am<b>ASeeR</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:12am<b>carebear1228</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 8:31pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 6:00pm<b>Mechazilla2</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:58am

yoursucklives's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of yoursucklives's badges

yoursucklives's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22224) - you deserved it (63976)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43392) - you deserved it (5902)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38635) - you deserved it (32150)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#15024554
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42944) - you deserved it (4575)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39008) - you deserved it (5038)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife thinks I will agree to anything she says if she just pleasures me orally. I now found out, she is correct. FML

#14341625
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10612) - you deserved it (38587)

On 12/26/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

#13777689
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41287) - you deserved it (7190)

On 11/09/2010 at 1:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32988) - you deserved it (3542)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19093) - you deserved it (58937)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26487) - you deserved it (10916)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10233) - you deserved it (29362)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8241) - you deserved it (57486)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

#6873751
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40356) - you deserved it (3611)

On 12/21/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by chao (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

#6404415
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23185) - you deserved it (17053)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by nolinguist (woman) - Austria (Oberosterreich)

Today, after I have spent $3,000 dollars in preparations to move in with my girlfriend of 2 and 1/2 years, she confesses she's a mental patient who stole someone elses identity. She was telling the truth. FML

#5811757
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39810) - you deserved it (3473)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by IMayBeAFool (man) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: