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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3054
  • Number of comments : 300
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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yoursucklives's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50529) - you deserved it (4945)

On 03/23/2012 at 1:55am - intimacy - by mrricecakes (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24419) - you deserved it (12857)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML


I agree, your life sucks (27282) - you deserved it (3484)

On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (29659) - you deserved it (9058)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36723) - you deserved it (5617)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML


Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41531) - you deserved it (9923)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML


I agree, your life sucks (13391) - you deserved it (59601)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53042) - you deserved it (6012)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32373) - you deserved it (2659)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34682) - you deserved it (6732)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31227) - you deserved it (4550)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (78323) - you deserved it (8163)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42195) - you deserved it (5939)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML


I agree, your life sucks (49616) - you deserved it (9275)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

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  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

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