About yourmurderscenex : I really hate these things. a lot.
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yourmurderscenex's favorite FMLs
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by kylie / 11/15/2010 at 4:17pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
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- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…
- Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on… Today, I've tried to have a quiet jack off four times, only for my dad to knock on my bedroom door… Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell…