About yourmurderscenex : I really hate these things. a lot.
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yourmurderscenex's favorite FMLs
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
by painfulintercourse / 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by kylie / 11/15/2010 at 4:17pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 3:32pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
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- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…
- Today, at lunch, my seven-year-old daughter and I had a chat. I asked her if she had a sweetheart.… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.…