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youresoscrewed's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
youresoscrewed's favorite FMLs
Today, my cousin got hired after six days of job-hunting. I graduated from university six months ago and haven't even scored a single interview; he's a deadbeat junkie who just got out of prison after doing time for armed robbery. FML
by / 10/24/2015 at 11:39pm / United States / Work
Today, my mother-in-law got her driver's license, despite being prone to fainting, seizures, and being on so much medication that she sometimes forgets where she is. She now wants to drive us to all our family functions, and my father-in-law won't object because he doesn't want to damage her self-esteem. FML
by PhoenixChick / 09/08/2015 at 2:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, after working incredibly hard to get into college without having to take out loans, classes started. I was told we'll need a $200 piece of software, and we'll fail without it. There's no way I can afford it. FML
by NotCollegeBound / 08/20/2015 at 3:21am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML
by BarhydtBran / 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Work
by MedChew / 05/08/2015 at 8:46am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 1:37am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/15/2015 at 10:41pm / Australia / Animals
by superscript / 02/17/2015 at 10:40pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/10/2014 at 4:06pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/09/2014 at 9:47am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, I logged into my bank account and started crying. Not because of the balance, but because the password is my anniversary with my ex, and it's the only reminder I have of happy days in my life. FML
by chiahuahualove / 02/05/2014 at 9:26am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by sickmom / 01/21/2014 at 6:07am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML
by Anonymous / 01/09/2014 at 2:02pm / United States (Texas) / Health