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your_ma's favorite FMLs
Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML
by Lisaaa / 10/27/2010 at 7:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 2:28am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by notyouagain / 10/03/2010 at 3:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by huwauw / 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 3:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a volleyball game against our rivals. I hit myself in the face with the ball 3 times, fell flat on my face against the court, and later had an asthma attack with no inhaler in sight. We lost the game. FML
by anonymous / 09/03/2010 at 1:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by Luke / 08/05/2010 at 1:00pm / United Kingdom (West Berkshire) / Love
Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML
by CreepedOut / 03/09/2010 at 1:31am / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML
by fatlady / 03/07/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by unfortunate419 / 02/17/2010 at 2:30am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by tacolove69 / 02/16/2010 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Tibblesthepengwin / 02/14/2010 at 12:43pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went indoor rock climbing with my uncle and his 5 year-old girl. I'm about halfway up the hardest ascent when my arm cramps up. As I stretched my arm, my cousin yells up at me in her tiny voice, "Prove you're a man and climb that wall!" I fell off. I was emasculated by a 5 year-old. FML
by Anonymous / 02/02/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to… Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked… Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
- Today, my university fridge is so small that the cucumber I bought doesn’t fit either lengthwise or… Today, I was in a taxi in Mexico. The driver got fed up with the traffic and decided to cross the… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…