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your_ma
  • Town/Country : Northern Ireland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 April 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 3329
  • Number of comments : 227
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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your_ma's favorite FMLs

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (7631)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (7631)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML

#14199411
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11329) - you deserved it (20537)

On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26070) - you deserved it (7204)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML

#14117134
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18057) - you deserved it (1464)

On 12/07/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

#14114390
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (2039)

On 12/06/2010 at 11:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied saying she is a hair dresser. FML

#14059634
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5361) - you deserved it (37003)

On 12/02/2010 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

#13876675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38516) - you deserved it (12012)

On 11/17/2010 at 1:16pm - love - by neverdateaclosetcase (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, 'I wish you liked anal.' FML

#13814299
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16240) - you deserved it (28461)

On 11/12/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by lisacasabonita (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me that I appear to have gained some weight. After realizing that it made me feel depressed, he tried to make me feel better by making love to me. I decided to go with it. While doing so, he paused and said "I'm sorry baby, but your weight is too much pressure for my back." FML

#13798664
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24199) - you deserved it (6921)

On 11/11/2010 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6861) - you deserved it (44841)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35241) - you deserved it (6548)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

#13766539
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6537) - you deserved it (38147)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by pottyhostage (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53959) - you deserved it (11683)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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