your_ma

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Offline (the 06/02/2015 at 12:31pm)

your_ma

65Fucked!

your_ma
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 April 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8747
  • Number of comments : 253
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

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your_ma's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 12:18am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 12:49am<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 9:36pm<b>refticon</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 4:53pm<b>TxAsMaD3</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 12:58pm<b>milehigh52</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 2:29am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 8:55am<b>Addiction333</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 11:16am<b>jayfish18</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 1:28am<b>10220706</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 4:39pm<b>weird_adult</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 6:38pm<b>12ed13lood</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 5:16pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 3:55pm<b>christinascudder</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:20pm<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:57pm<b>windyouthere</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:11am<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 11:24am<b>shrysh</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 8:33am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 6:18am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:49am<b>refticon</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 10:53pm<b>milehigh52</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:29am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 1:57am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 4:48am<b>copierce</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:05am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 9:40pm<b>SaniK</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:15pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 3:24am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:39am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:00am<b>amcquaid</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:01pm<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 2:45pm<b>int15</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:45pm<b>gurbism</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 6:04pm<b>Leafa</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 11:17am<b>WTFisTurbo</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 4:02pm

your_ma's FML badges

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your_ma's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids

Today, I'm a 34 year old male who just got given the sex talk on my Facebook timeline by my senile mother. 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

by Shelby / 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

by Kait / 04/05/2012 at 12:13am / United States / Work

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

by RequilaRainbow / 01/26/2012 at 2:34am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

by lovely / 12/19/2011 at 1:43am / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML

by applesmama / 09/17/2011 at 12:36am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

by piece of shed / 08/31/2011 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years old. FML

by AMP4U / 08/30/2011 at 9:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

by W1D0 / 08/20/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

by worried / 08/16/2011 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love