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yoimtrollin's FML badges
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
yoimtrollin's favorite FMLs
Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML
by DocBastard, meet DocCunt / 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML
by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 7:36pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by pancakelicious / 10/04/2013 at 7:16am / New Zealand / Intimacy
by Lilly / 10/02/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids
by GodSquad / 09/26/2013 at 4:06am / United Kingdom (Blackburn with Darwen) / Love
by anotherfmladdict / 09/26/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Iowa) / Kids
Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML
by howprofessional / 09/06/2013 at 5:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML
by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by fail / 08/18/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 6:52am / United States / Kids
- Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by telling me he got another girl pregnant and… Today, I had a wet dream about a classmate. Now whenever I see her I get a raging erection. I have… Today, my close friend who had been asking me out for 4 months broke up with me after dating for 3…