Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

yoimtrollin

Online | Search for a member

yoimtrollin

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 February 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4764
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About yoimtrollin : You're looking at my profile now.

yoimtrollin's page activity

Visits<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:42am<b>limabean235</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 4:49pm<b>de_ehlluminati</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:13pm<b>ilovedogs24</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:53pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:24pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:55pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 5:38pm<b>prthundergod</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 11:25pm<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:22pm<b>BlackStar288</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 12:41pm<b>ThatOneGirl2020</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 10:50pm<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 4:52am<b>Demig0d6</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 12:04pm<b>DutchRogue</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 1:46am<b>garage</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:32pm<b>testtest2</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 6:50pm<b>cwrocker</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 2:40pm<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:12pm

Fucked!<b>de_ehlluminati</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 8:14pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:55am<b>prthundergod</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 5:25am<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:22am<b>ThatOneGirl2020</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 3:50am

yoimtrollin's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of yoimtrollin's badges

yoimtrollin's favorite FMLs

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32676) - you deserved it (3050)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18786) - you deserved it (55598)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I announced to my friends that my grandmother is dying. My best friend pulled out his phone and casually announced, "Technically, everyone is dying." FML

#21354746
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24644) - you deserved it (2328)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:16pm - health - by Dartfrogger - United States (Utah)

Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML

#21351065
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27677) - you deserved it (2940)

On 02/06/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by barf (woman) - Ireland

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (6899)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm on a train, feeling good because I got upgraded to first class. The man opposite me just slid me a note saying, "Wee plooky cunt, fuck off!" Charming. FML

#21346702
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24621) - you deserved it (2135)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, it's my 40th birthday. I got two presents by mail: a jar of wrinkle cream from a market research company, and an ad from a funeral home. FML

#21329484
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30445) - you deserved it (2367)

On 01/02/2015 at 5:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time in over a month. When I came, I thrust one last time and let out a huge fart. She couldn't keep her mouth shut about it, and now all our friends keep calling me "CumFart". FML

#21329462
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36923) - you deserved it (8231)

On 01/02/2015 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by I'll Make You FartCum (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32406) - you deserved it (2460)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40421) - you deserved it (2996)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to drive my husband to hospital after he tried to burn his pubes off with a lighter as part of a bet. On the upside, he probably won't be bugging me for sex for a while. On the downside, I'm married to a moron. FML

#21324724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31353) - you deserved it (4875)

On 12/26/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by If IQs could be negative... (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML

#21323182
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34173) - you deserved it (3719)

On 12/24/2014 at 9:43am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

#21298962
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (2835)

On 11/14/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by shreking_bawl (man) - Norway

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

#21297627
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (8949)

On 11/12/2014 at 11:00am - health - by juggalomurderer59 (man) - United States

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: