yellowchocobo

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Offline (the 07/28/2015 at 10:07pm)

yellowchocobo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 11 December 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5706
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About yellowchocobo : English/American studies student, book lover, movie addict, astronomy enthusiast and drawing - something. I'm just here for the laughs.

yellowchocobo's page activity

Visits<b>IantoJones</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 1:37pm<b>GhostDuck</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:10pm<b>mattlikesfunions</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:47pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 5:40am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 9:48pm<b>Scoutman</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 11:06pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 12:36am<b>cutiesoprano22</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 3:27pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 2:08pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 8:59pm<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 8:41pm<b>urdirtyolduncle</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 9:05pm<b>kktik</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:06pm<b>freddogg97</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 6:25pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 5:47am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:57am<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:34am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 6:49pm

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yellowchocobo's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend decided to wake me up from a nap by kissing me. I started kissing her back passionately, when she slapped me. Apparently, kissing her back automatically without "confirming her identity" counts as cheating. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:21pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, a package was delivered to my house, addressed to me, clearly marked "sexual health products". Inside were condoms, birth control pills, and an invoice made out to me. My parents went ballistic and grounded me. Whoever staged this "hilarious" prank: well played, asshole. FML

by Anonymous / 05/24/2013 at 5:43pm / Iceland (Eyjafjardarsysla) / Intimacy

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

by jfc, how just how / 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

by Mr_poole / 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

by Urgghh / 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

by peallow / 05/12/2013 at 1:01am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:42am / United States / Health

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

by emasculated 10000% / 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm / Sweden (Kronobergs Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

by psycho ex / 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm / Brazil / Love

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

by QueenOrangeSoda / 05/01/2013 at 5:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

by sharibaby / 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous