About yahoowizard : FML's help me sleep.
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About yahoowizard : FML's help me sleep.
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yahoowizard's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML
by strokesie / 07/03/2013 at 2:56am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML
by anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek
by thanksdoc / 06/24/2013 at 6:12pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by kittybad / 06/23/2013 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money
Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML
by evilmuffinlord / 06/18/2013 at 2:34am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy
Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm / United States / Transportation
by Me / 06/03/2013 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
by datgirl92 / 05/24/2013 at 10:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML
by obnum / 05/24/2013 at 8:26am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 8:01am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
- Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound… Today, my mother worked out that my boyfriend and I are having sex. Instead of confronting me about… Today, after thinking I smelled the aroma of stale alcohol, I asked my husband, who is a recovering…