yahoowizard

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Offline (the 09/07/2014 at 7:32pm)

yahoowizard

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 2 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2374
  • Number of comments : 604
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About yahoowizard : FML's help me sleep.
Oh, and math is awesome.

yahoowizard's page activity

Visits<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - yesterday at 3:26pm<b>ZiaBerry</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 4:17pm<b>carpenoctern</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 11:10am<b>konan__</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:47am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:48pm<b>i_wuz_nver_here</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:37pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 1:57pm<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:48pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 9:28pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:39am<b>secondcitystyles</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 3:10am<b>honksdozy</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:18pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 8:20pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:57am<b>Kvothee</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 8:40pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:44pm<b>NightlyAce</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 3:54pm<b>kathrynbudders</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:12pm

Fucked!<b>carpenoctern</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 5:11pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:54pm<b>pait_loves_shane</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:45am<b>kathrynbudders</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 12:12am

yahoowizard's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of yahoowizard's badges

yahoowizard's favorite FMLs

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

by Lookalike / 05/12/2014 at 10:38am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

by bastard / 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm / United States / Kids

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

by mistletoe / 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

by gonnafail / 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML

by MBean / 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm / Anguilla / Animals

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

by Wheredigowrong / 10/21/2013 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Work

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I thought that an ingenious way to protest against high tuition prices would be to steal a box of soymilk from my university dining hall. The box exploded in my backpack. Not only did I lose all my soymilk, I now have replace my $120 calculator. FML

by Stupid / 09/18/2013 at 4:46am / United States (Missouri) / Money

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2013 at 1:23am / United States (Ohio) / Geek