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xzxXxzx's favorite FMLs
by chocochoco / 03/23/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML
by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals
Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML
by ouch.... / 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by roundtherose / 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
by happyturtle / 10/10/2013 at 7:27am / Croatia / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML
by carla6991 / 10/09/2013 at 4:16pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by arthise / 10/09/2013 at 3:03am / United States (Indiana) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML
by littlekellilee / 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Animals
by Sooz / 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML
by SuperFail55 / 10/01/2013 at 8:33pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids
by DOCMONROE / 09/30/2013 at 6:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 5:28pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by User / 09/23/2013 at 1:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm / United States / Money
- Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried… Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel… Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and…
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to…