About xxxbooxxx : I like Xbox & fruit punch.
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xxxbooxxx's favorite FMLs
by juliaspaperbags / 08/16/2009 at 10:32am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
by TextLoser / 08/05/2009 at 9:37am / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2009 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Soapy / 06/28/2009 at 3:23am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair. FML
by Anonymous / 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML
by wtf. / 06/02/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my best friend why she didn't ask our other best friend Anna to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. She said, "She's too pretty. I need ugly bridesmaids to make me look better." I am the maid of honor. FML
by Neverthebride / 05/22/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by ECullen / 05/21/2009 at 3:13pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Nick / 05/13/2009 at 6:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Geek
Today, I was babysitting a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. I asked her, "Do you got your bag?" And she said, "No. I have my bag. Babies say got. I'm a big girl." I am 20 years old and in the honors program in my college. I was corrected by a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. FML
by Nanny / 04/30/2009 at 1:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. When suddenly she started crying at the peak of her orgasm, when I asked what was wrong, she replied. "I-I-I MISS HIM!" She was crying about her ex boyfriend. While I was inside her. FML
by fingerfuckd / 04/29/2009 at 11:47am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me. So when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML
by fmylifebadddd / 04/18/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my dad and I watched Taken...after it was over he said "he wouldn't have gone through that… Today, I was at the Five Guys in Cardiff, and I decided to treat myself by getting five portions of… Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by telling me he got another girl pregnant and…