Search for a member

Offline (the 07/13/2016 at 6:15am)



  • Town/Country : Portland, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 August 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3320
  • Number of comments : 100
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 44 posted

About xxxbooxxx : I like Xbox & fruit punch.

xxxbooxxx's page activity

Visits<b>TyrantOverSeer</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 3:54pm<b>Poopsupreme</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 1:12am<b>relaxedninja</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:59pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 4:14pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:03am<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 9:26pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 2:05pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 1:42pm<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 5:57pm<b>BritSkits</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 5:52pm<b>bravoal923</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 12:47pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 1:19pm<b>fallenkilljoy</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:24am<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 5:29pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 4:09pm<b>Zurg_676</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 9:36am<b>Raxy</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 7:41pm<b>Fymlife</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:41am

Fucked!<b>Poopsupreme</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:43am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 10:09pm<b>relaxedninja</b> - the 01/20/2015 at 1:43pm

xxxbooxxx's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of xxxbooxxx's badges

xxxbooxxx's favorite FMLs

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

by mathesonn / 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

by o_O / 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

by whatno / 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

by Abrams52 / 05/28/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

by fuck you retail / 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work