Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xxsakuraxx

Offline (yesterday at 12:19pm) | Search for a member

xxsakuraxx

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3076
  • Number of comments : 182
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xxsakuraxx's page activity

Visits<b>Soninuva</b> - 19 hours ago<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:55am<b>StonerSongbird</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:17am<b>alexanderavatar</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:23am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 6:23pm<b>gopi</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:41am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 12:35am<b>xSaru</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:29pm<b>SamMelody</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:04pm<b>ENCOURAGER</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:57pm<b>devonj</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:46pm<b>almostfree_kira</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:57am<b>AlexanderDavidd</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:45am<b>bjake93mec</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:45am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:44am<b>Octopudding</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 4:27am<b>daveydavidson111</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:39am<b>Melodija</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 6:48pm

Fucked!<b>gopi</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:36pm<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:10am

xxsakuraxx's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of xxsakuraxx's badges

xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

#21295699
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32112) - you deserved it (6746)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm - animals - by dogdays (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML

#21292082
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30289) - you deserved it (5610)

On 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm - kids - by The Selfie Parent - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

#21289401
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (6860)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by Halloween Fail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31497) - you deserved it (2628)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32878) - you deserved it (4583)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32878) - you deserved it (4583)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37355) - you deserved it (4575)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34517) - you deserved it (12341)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

#21276472
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38058) - you deserved it (4863)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss discovered that I'm prone to random fainting, due to hypoglycemia. He has now nicknamed me "fainting goat" and makes relentless bleating noises every time he sees me. FML

#21275948
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31048) - you deserved it (2634)

On 10/12/2014 at 12:04am - work - by thecaptainmorgan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my little sister decided the best way to cheat on a test is to take someone else's test, scratch through their name in pencil, and write her name underneath. She starts high school next semester. FML

#21272741
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34209) - you deserved it (3113)

On 10/07/2014 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23643) - you deserved it (34682)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34740) - you deserved it (3959)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: