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xxsakuraxx

Offline (the 03/27/2015 at 3:32am) | Search for a member

xxsakuraxx

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2127
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

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Visits<b>wvcheesehead</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:20pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:33am<b>sswagyP</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:50am<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:34pm<b>earljonez</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:53pm<b>arich6210</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:13pm<b>ShadowReaper101</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:32am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:37am<b>smw83</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:27pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Epiccake</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:41pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:03pm<b>sajupt</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:38pm<b>Reecer</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:42am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:53am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:54pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 12:45am

Liked!<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:10am

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xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46042) - you deserved it (5319)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46042) - you deserved it (5319)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63957) - you deserved it (8110)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38874) - you deserved it (20800)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38801) - you deserved it (5726)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37247) - you deserved it (4093)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my teenage daughter tried to convince me that the UK is a part of Canada. After I pulled out a map to prove her wrong, she got all angry and defensive, and said that nobody's perfect at "geometry". My daughter is an idiot. FML

#21122867
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49991) - you deserved it (9967)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML

#21116703
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41708) - you deserved it (6686)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40538) - you deserved it (7974)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52218) - you deserved it (4720)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML

#21112140
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41663) - you deserved it (4809)

On 04/13/2014 at 6:16pm - misc - by -.- - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

#21101196
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35750) - you deserved it (5235)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (5070)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (5130)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41083) - you deserved it (8375) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)



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