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xxsakuraxx

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xxsakuraxx
  • Town/Country : Toledo, Ohio
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 580
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40511) - you deserved it (2846)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19742) - you deserved it (45010)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41633) - you deserved it (2678)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

#20907686
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37613) - you deserved it (4880) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/04/2013 at 7:00pm - animals - by iet_Wyrda (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

#20906908
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47007) - you deserved it (3962)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48599) - you deserved it (6706)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47183) - you deserved it (6164)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

#20893921
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38240) - you deserved it (2922)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:47am - kids - by cuntsmom (woman) - United States

Today, while I was working, someone came in and attempted to purchase GTA 5 with a medical marijuana card. FML

#20892589
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (2596)

On 09/23/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

#20892490
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49118) - you deserved it (7053)

On 09/23/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by baddad (man) - United States

Today, I thought that an ingenious way to protest against high tuition prices would be to steal a box of soymilk from my university dining hall. The box exploded in my backpack. Not only did I lose all my soymilk, I now have replace my $120 calculator. FML

#20886247
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14178) - you deserved it (59188)

On 09/18/2013 at 4:46am - money - by Stupid (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39048) - you deserved it (2363)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

#20882967
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37337) - you deserved it (10085)

On 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm - misc - by BaMiTsAnYa (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

#20882660
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25669) - you deserved it (37578)

On 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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