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xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad was telling me some childhood stories. He mentioned I once started sucking on a cow's udder when I was 2, and I asked why didn't he stop me. His response: "You were an accident and I wasn't good at the parenting thing". FML
by gotmilk? / 09/22/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML
by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by chillnhill / 09/10/2015 at 10:31pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by tessie94 / 09/06/2015 at 2:33pm / Austria (Wien) / Love
Today, I accidentally dropped and shattered my small bathroom mirror. My sister came to see what was going on, took one look at the shattered mirror, and said, "About time you put it out if its misery." FML
by fuck you btichass cuntshit / 08/20/2015 at 12:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 11:16pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML
by brbkillingmyself / 08/08/2015 at 6:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
by funnnyyyyy -_- / 08/01/2015 at 4:29am / Nepal / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Razz / 07/15/2015 at 6:02pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by brichard22 / 07/12/2015 at 10:25am / United States (California) / Kids
by savannahsboxxx / 07/11/2015 at 8:09am / United States / Animals
- Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on… Today, my best friend of 12 years told me she couldn't attend my wedding. What was so important to… Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she…