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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3447
  • Number of comments : 191
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 35 posted

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xxsakuraxx's page activity

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17695) - you deserved it (33136)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML


I agree, your life sucks (26943) - you deserved it (4822)

On 04/05/2015 at 11:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to give a presentation at school about King Richard III. I realized too late that someone had changed his name to "King Dick" on all the slides. My little sister later broke into hysterics and confessed this had been her April Fool's prank. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28970) - you deserved it (2771)

On 04/02/2015 at 10:21am - misc - by King.Dick. (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (27958) - you deserved it (2809)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took the biggest, most excruciatingly painful crap of my life. It was so bad that I couldn't walk straight for a good 20 minutes afterwards. Long enough for my boyfriend to film me limping around and post the clip to Facebook with the caption "#anal ftw ;)". FML


I agree, your life sucks (31259) - you deserved it (3789)

On 03/22/2015 at 10:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31010) - you deserved it (3164)

On 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by tobuscus9412 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (2278)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30264) - you deserved it (5238)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:23am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (3382)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44683) - you deserved it (20676)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24619) - you deserved it (34796)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34764) - you deserved it (6742)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19420) - you deserved it (57481)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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