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xxsakuraxx

Offline (the 08/28/2015 at 1:15pm) | Search for a member

xxsakuraxx

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3240
  • Number of comments : 183
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

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xxsakuraxx's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:26pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Scourge13</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:42pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 6:44pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:03am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:55am<b>StonerSongbird</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:17am<b>alexanderavatar</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:23am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 6:23pm<b>gopi</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:41am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 12:35am<b>xSaru</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:29pm<b>SamMelody</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:04pm<b>ENCOURAGER</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:57pm<b>devonj</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:46pm<b>almostfree_kira</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:57am<b>AlexanderDavidd</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:45am<b>bjake93mec</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:45am

Fucked!<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:21pm<b>gopi</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:36pm<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:10am

xxsakuraxx's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of xxsakuraxx's badges

xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33962) - you deserved it (3356)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44480) - you deserved it (20554)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you deserved it (34644)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34586) - you deserved it (6700)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18800) - you deserved it (55652)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37157) - you deserved it (5860)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

#21364131
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26763) - you deserved it (5349)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm - animals - by jynxisadouchebag - United States (California)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31838) - you deserved it (3814)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

#21360985
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33428) - you deserved it (1977)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35008) - you deserved it (8344)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32962) - you deserved it (3365)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18820) - you deserved it (35725)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)



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