xxsakuraxx

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xxsakuraxx

14Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5307
  • Number of comments : 211
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 37 posted

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xxsakuraxx's page activity

Visits<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 4:12pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 9:51pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 5:26am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 4:47pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 3:56pm<b>george_s_4</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 7:00am<b>writergirl1029</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 4:17am<b>sinverguenza</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:02pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 10:13pm<b>Barskdyar</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 11:07pm<b>taybug1216</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 8:31am<b>1penguin</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 9:29pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:18pm<b>Mons</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:52pm<b>abagrov</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:37pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:48pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 4:16pm<b>mhoch22</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:44pm

Fucked!<b>taybug1216</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 2:32pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:18pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 4:39am<b>Tenker</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 6:05am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:08pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 5:34pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:10pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 8:05pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:08am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:21pm<b>gopi</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:36pm<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:10am

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xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy

Today, at the gym, my boobs were jiggling more than the girl next to me. This would be a good thing, if I wasn't a guy. FML

by random / 06/08/2013 at 12:42am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

by WOWBear / 06/05/2013 at 5:46am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML

by SApprentice / 06/05/2013 at 12:25am / United States (Virginia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

by ._. / 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Intimacy

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2013 at 11:20am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was sending intimate pictures to my girlfriend and accidentally sent one to my best friend. He sent me one back. FML

by Abrams52 / 05/28/2013 at 1:44am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

by pixkalexi / 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

by black hoodie / 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

by sprainedankle / 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Health