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xxsakuraxx's FML badges
I never take things to heart
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xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs
by not twilight / 12/04/2015 at 7:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML
by anon / 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm / United States / Kids
by BUSTED. / 12/01/2015 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by ygma / 12/01/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Wtfbruhimmovingout / 11/27/2015 at 9:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
by streaker? / 11/27/2015 at 9:21am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Miscellaneous
by CaraMaria / 11/24/2015 at 4:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Secret Isis supporter / 11/18/2015 at 7:52pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML
by friendless1004 / 11/12/2015 at 11:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by GoldenSteve / 11/05/2015 at 10:31am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by cassieleigh1 / 11/05/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML
by caroline / 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm / Germany / Kids
Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML
by StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing / 10/14/2015 at 12:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, while walking home after a night of partying, I saw a thin, bald person in a suit looking at me from across the street. I got flashbacks to the Slender Man, screamed like a little bitch and ran. Then I realized I'd just humiliated myself in front of some random guy waiting for a bus. FML
by shitbucketsfilledwithshit / 10/08/2015 at 12:04pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…
- Today, in the middle of sex my boyfriend asked if he could use the bathroom. It would've been fine,… Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on…