xxsakuraxx

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Offline (the 09/17/2016 at 3:38am)

xxsakuraxx

17Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6780
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 38 posted

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xxsakuraxx's page activity

Visits<b>Talented73</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 7:28pm<b>killintime379</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 10:52pm<b>fierofan</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 1:30am<b>rogwest</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 1:16am<b>iamscott</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 11:50pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 10:23am<b>Infamous278</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 10:31pm<b>Swizzles</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:34pm<b>piker117</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 11:56pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 11:25pm<b>AXel2169</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 3:39pm<b>LycanGod</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 10:58pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 2:15pm<b>ShaneBarnes</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 2:11pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 5:53pm<b>deathrise007</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 1:38pm<b>Mons</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 2:42am<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 4:12pm

Fucked!<b>Talented73</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 1:28am<b>rogwest</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 7:16am<b>deathrise007</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 7:38pm<b>taybug1216</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 2:32pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:18pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 4:39am<b>Tenker</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 6:05am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:08pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 5:34pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:10pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 8:05pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 7:08am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:21pm<b>gopi</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:36pm<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:10am

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xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter had a vocabulary assignment. She had to find five new words in books and movies. She was watching Shrek, so her first word was "thong". FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2016 at 8:33pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML

by farmingman / 04/14/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, "I'm fucking horrible, I'm working at Costco," nearly making me spit my drink out. FML

by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, while at work I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending 2 hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2016 at 6:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, at the supermarket, I picked up a pack of toilet rolls, at which point my 5-year-old daughter turned to me and screamed, "A CLEAN BUTTHOLE IS A HAPPY BUTTHOLE!" in front of a dozen other people. I have no idea where she heard that. FML

by humiliated / 03/20/2016 at 7:54am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, when my son gets mad in a store, he will scream stranger danger and run away from me, and to an employee, and ask for help. FML

by anonymous / 03/13/2016 at 3:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend is mad at me for causing him to fail a science test. Apparently he thought I was serious when I told him that homo sapiens were extinct because they were "homo". FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2016 at 2:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I worked such a long shift at Panera that when my boyfriend called later, I answered, "It's a fresh day at Panera Bread in [town], this is [name] speaking. How may I help you?" He thought it was hilarious. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2016 at 7:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

by sandra / 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

by enya / 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm / Luxembourg / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

by sciencenat / 01/14/2016 at 1:36am / Work

Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2015 at 8:07am / Intimacy

Today, I learned that while most people drunk text, I drunk clean. And by drunk clean I mean put my things away where I won't be able to find them, like my car keys. FML

by Anon / 12/05/2015 at 6:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

by not twilight / 12/04/2015 at 7:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals