Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xxsakuraxx

Offline (the 04/20/2015 at 7:00am) | Search for a member

xxsakuraxx

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2334
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

xxsakuraxx's page activity

Visits<b>TheDude992</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:11am<b>dudefromasia</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:31pm<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 3:15am<b>wvcheesehead</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:20pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 10:33am<b>sswagyP</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:50am<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:34pm<b>earljonez</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:53pm<b>arich6210</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 8:31pm<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 9:13pm<b>ShadowReaper101</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 2:32am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:37am<b>smw83</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:27pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:48pm<b>Epiccake</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:41pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:03pm<b>sajupt</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 5:38pm<b>Reecer</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:42am

Fucked!<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:10am

xxsakuraxx's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of xxsakuraxx's badges

xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52) - you deserved it (18)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18740) - you deserved it (55365)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34154) - you deserved it (4963)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

#21364131
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25734) - you deserved it (4957)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm - animals - by jynxisadouchebag - United States (California)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, my boyfriend managed to orgasm by humping my leg. I'm beginning to think I am dating a puppy. FML

#21363602
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31381) - you deserved it (3782)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by failuretolaunch2 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

#21360985
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32546) - you deserved it (1910)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (8232)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31752) - you deserved it (3210)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)

Today, while watching a clip of the show "16 and Pregnant" on YouTube in my room, my mom yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. Without skipping a beat, I yelled back, "I'm pregnant!" I'm a guy. FML

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18771) - you deserved it (35634)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

#21354177
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27220) - you deserved it (9753)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm - misc - by assholedad (man) - United States

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33691) - you deserved it (2957)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21349595
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35434) - you deserved it (4174)

On 02/04/2015 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Grrrreat (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: