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xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML
by enya / 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm / Luxembourg / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
by Anonymous / 01/17/2016 at 1:41pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, at my wedding reception, my wife's Grandfather decided to sing for everyone. The first words out of his mouth once he got the microphone were, "I'm a Senior Swinger." I had to explain to my appalled guests that it was just the name of the chorus group at his retirement home. FML
by ohnohedidnt / 12/05/2015 at 8:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 12/05/2015 at 6:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by not twilight / 12/04/2015 at 7:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, my 6-year-old daughter watched The Lion King for the first time. Now, whenever I ask her to do something, she replies "Hakuna Matata" and doesn't even get up. I think she took "no worries" to mean "don't give a shit about anything". FML
by anon / 12/04/2015 at 7:32pm / United States / Kids
by BUSTED. / 12/01/2015 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by ygma / 12/01/2015 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Wtfbruhimmovingout / 11/27/2015 at 9:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went clothes shopping. I took my little daughter into the dressing room while I tried some clothes on. She somehow managed to open the door while I was changing. A lady outside then bitched me out for "exposing" myself to her kids. FML
by streaker? / 11/27/2015 at 9:21am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Miscellaneous
by CaraMaria / 11/24/2015 at 4:02am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Secret Isis supporter / 11/18/2015 at 7:52pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I gave a group presentation. Because I didn't know the last names of my group members, I'd put fake ones in, intending to replace them later. I forgot to change them and I ended up giving a presentation alongside a very angry Greg Penishead and Josh Acne. FML
by friendless1004 / 11/12/2015 at 11:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous