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xxsakuraxx

Offline (the 08/28/2015 at 1:15pm) | Search for a member

xxsakuraxx

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 July 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3253
  • Number of comments : 183
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 34 posted

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xxsakuraxx's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:26pm<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:27pm<b>Scourge13</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 9:42pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 6:44pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 1:03am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 11:55am<b>StonerSongbird</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:17am<b>alexanderavatar</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:23am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 6:23pm<b>gopi</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 11:41am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 12:35am<b>xSaru</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:29pm<b>SamMelody</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 6:04pm<b>ENCOURAGER</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 3:57pm<b>devonj</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:46pm<b>almostfree_kira</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:57am<b>AlexanderDavidd</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:45am<b>bjake93mec</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:45am

Fucked!<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:21pm<b>gopi</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 2:36pm<b>im_a_black_guy</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:59pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 9:10am

xxsakuraxx's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of xxsakuraxx's badges

xxsakuraxx's favorite FMLs

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

#21432533
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32017) - you deserved it (2326)

On 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm - work - by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML

#21425055
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25882) - you deserved it (4557)

On 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36071) - you deserved it (7554)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

#21416018
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26492) - you deserved it (2453)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:12am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (4668)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31065) - you deserved it (2439)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

#21409835
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (2384)

On 05/14/2015 at 1:11am - animals - by cricketsins (woman) - United States

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30710) - you deserved it (3031)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got screamed at to the point of tears by a Starbucks employee for "giving an obviously fake name" to confuse one of the employees. I told her my real name. My name is Ian. FML

#21404461
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32018) - you deserved it (2350)

On 05/04/2015 at 12:28pm - misc - by to_complicated_4_u - United States (New York)

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
101 comments

Today, I kept hearing a child creepily giggling in my living room. I couldn't sleep and got so scared that I started considering hiring an exorcist. Long story short: be careful if you have Bluetooth speakers, because your dickhead neighbor might hack them and start fucking with you. FML

#21401745
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34917) - you deserved it (4857)

On 04/29/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

#21401720
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30529) - you deserved it (3066)

On 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)



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