xxlivingcorpsexx

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xxlivingcorpsexx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7238
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About xxlivingcorpsexx : My name is Gary (yes, like the fucking snail). Currently 16 years of age. I'm into many of the metal sub-genres, my favorite being math-core :D I love to read books, and I'm a stickler for decent spelling and grammar.

xxlivingcorpsexx's page activity

Visits<b>hayleybaaby</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 4:16am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:51pm<b>Pielover13</b> - the 05/17/2011 at 5:33pm<b>AddictedToGuys</b> - the 02/21/2011 at 7:39pm<b>DanielleDakota</b> - the 02/18/2011 at 2:40pm

xxlivingcorpsexx's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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xxlivingcorpsexx's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

by iheartmorons / 01/14/2012 at 9:31am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML

by snarly1 / 01/03/2012 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML

by cheese123 / 01/03/2012 at 12:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

by Scarred4Life / 01/01/2012 at 1:18am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML

by thathurt / 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

by axel519 / 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

by OH COME ON / 12/29/2011 at 10:48am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

by Girl-of-very-little-brain / 12/29/2011 at 7:01am / Canada / Health

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

by Grossed Out / 12/29/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML

by Snurkles McGree / 12/29/2011 at 1:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

by anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Oregon) / Kids