Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xxlivingcorpsexx

Search for a member

xxlivingcorpsexx
  • Town/Country : Fort Lauderdale, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 4210
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About xxlivingcorpsexx : My name is Gary (yes, like the fucking snail). Currently 16 years of age. I'm into many of the metal sub-genres, my favorite being math-core :D I love to read books, and I'm a stickler for decent spelling and grammar.

xxlivingcorpsexx's last visitors

hayleybaabyShowmehowtoliveZebrasofa13FreezePielover13DanielleDakota

xxlivingcorpsexx's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of xxlivingcorpsexx's badges

xxlivingcorpsexx's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

#18804066
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21569) - you deserved it (5656)

On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML

#18694109
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (1983)

On 01/03/2012 at 3:14am - love - by snarly1 - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother introduced me to her friends as her 16-year-old granddaughter "who has never been kissed." FML

#18692493
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20320) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by cheese123 (woman) - United States

Today, I tried exercising. My whole house shook. FML

#18691343
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (12256)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:47pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36673) - you deserved it (5485)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

#18674853
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29580) - you deserved it (9295)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

#18670300
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26410) - you deserved it (2969)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)

Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML

#18667019
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27302) - you deserved it (6920)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by thathurt (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50154) - you deserved it (10127)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20540) - you deserved it (2398)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

#18643236
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26664) - you deserved it (4835)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up at midnight crying, stood up to turn on the lights and face-planted into my wall. FML

#18642505
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17209) - you deserved it (3202)

On 12/29/2011 at 7:01am - health - by Girl-of-very-little-brain (woman) - Canada

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

#18641701
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28483) - you deserved it (2491)

On 12/29/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Grossed Out (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML

#18641039
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (6484)

On 12/29/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by Snurkles McGree (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

#18631898
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27718) - you deserved it (4407)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: