xxkellifitzxx

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xxkellifitzxx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 405
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xxkellifitzxx's page activity

Visits<b>JoshArson</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 10:36am<b>Aryn16</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 7:26am<b>xxGheTToGumbYxx</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 1:47pm<b>crazycookiecr</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 11:46pm<b>waiwut</b> - the 05/08/2013 at 7:43pm

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xxkellifitzxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on my computer and saw my little brother had left his myspace page up with a message between him and his friend. They were talking about a plan to basically humiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." FML

by ilovemybrother / 10/27/2009 at 8:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I told a lady that came into my clothing store that I thought her abstract looking necklace was pretty. She responded, "Oh... Thats actually a pipe that goes into my lung." FML

by oopsjsp90 / 10/17/2009 at 4:45am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

by FlipYoC / 09/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

by mandy / 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

by re2K5 / 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm / Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto) / Money

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

by Mortified / 07/22/2009 at 5:48am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

by failhusband / 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, a cab driver had to sign me out of the emergency room because I didn't know who else to call. FML

by ccc / 05/15/2009 at 12:35pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

by mistake / 05/11/2009 at 5:09am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking on the track when this really cute guy shows up. I was hot and sweaty, and wanted to impress him by pouring water on myself. Instead of being turned on, all he saw was me wiping my face on my shirt screaming. It wasn't water, I forgot I had brought Sprite. FML

by gymbob / 05/06/2009 at 7:36am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, at work, the prizes were given to the employee of the month. They come in to surprise the winner and give prizes. They come over to my cubicle and cover me with silly string. Jokingly, I said: "Do you guys have the wrong cubicle? " They did. The guy in the next cubicle won. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2009 at 5:42pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

by heytherexo / 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

by face / 03/25/2009 at 1:45am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

by Noname / 03/13/2009 at 11:49am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous