Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xxbvbsusanxx

Offline (the 05/10/2015 at 7:38am) | Search for a member

xxbvbsusanxx

4Fucked!

xxbvbsusanxxxxbvbsusanxx
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 14 August 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2893
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About xxbvbsusanxx : I don't have much to tell you about me xD
Feel free to message me :D I like having new people to talk to xD
Country 'til I die
The first picture is me.
The dog in the second picture is mine. His name is Homer (NOT named after the Simpson) and he's a German Wirehaired Pointer (GWP for short). He's four, and a dork, but I love him anyway.
The third picture is one that I took while out mudding in Upsher County, West Virginia. If you somehow know where Tenmile, WV is, shoot me a message!!
Have a good day/night!!

xxbvbsusanxx's page activity

Visits<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 2:18am<b>MyUsernameKatie</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 6:03am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 2:47pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 5:37am<b>NoNamedBrilliant</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 2:21am<b>zjay</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 8:18am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 6:31am<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 7:51am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 3:59am<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:32pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 8:50pm<b>ty4nier</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 4:45pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 7:45pm<b>snydeeli000</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:29am<b>cokeman666</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 3:50pm<b>sam9697</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 2:42pm<b>jesusalejndr</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 11:45pm<b>leahb99</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 5:13pm

Fucked!<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:18am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 2:51am<b>robertd73</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 4:07pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 2:32am

xxbvbsusanxx's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of xxbvbsusanxx's badges

xxbvbsusanxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37300) - you deserved it (3914)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37300) - you deserved it (3914)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34775) - you deserved it (4399)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35474) - you deserved it (5494)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

#21201617
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43091) - you deserved it (4311)

On 07/07/2014 at 11:59am - animals - by ADanceWithDavos (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41726) - you deserved it (17480)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

#21188726
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47841) - you deserved it (5381)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:57am - animals - by Pisser (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend's grandma took me to his house to hang out. I then heard her in the kitchen telling his mom how hard she tried to leave me at the nearest gas station. FML

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40869) - you deserved it (4438)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36954) - you deserved it (8876)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

#21143534
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56375) - you deserved it (5654)

On 05/18/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49674) - you deserved it (4533)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47331) - you deserved it (5380)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40357) - you deserved it (4154)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53596) - you deserved it (7961)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: