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Offline (the 10/07/2016 at 6:41am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 6 September 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2421
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

About xoamy906 : I'm Amy, I'm from Pennsylvania and that's all you need to know.

xoamy906's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - 2 hours ago<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 4:15am<b>great_nate</b> - the 11/12/2016 at 12:19pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 11/05/2016 at 4:12am<b>Leo619</b> - the 10/22/2016 at 11:44pm<b>Chris_1414</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 11:16pm<b>hare</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 4:58am<b>2simz</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 1:33am<b>M3DO</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 11:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 4:44pm<b>KingMamba</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 5:35pm<b>feldire</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 5:33pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 4:25pm<b>hockey_lover98</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 1:11pm<b>iamscott</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 1:09pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 11:23am<b>imadeit007</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 1:51am<b>BarthConnor425</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 12:45am

Fucked!<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 9:06pm<b>hockey_lover98</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 7:12pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 12:22am<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 8:57am<b>BarthConnor425</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 6:05am<b>stryder9090</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 4:57am<b>41k312</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 12:10am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 7:42pm<b>feldire</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 3:33am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 6:25am<b>ifuckuprandomly</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 4:43pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 10:52pm<b>DrSirSexyLegs</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 9:31am<b>ballsacks33</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 7:38pm<b>TreeTreeMan</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 7:17am<b>gqlmno</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 11:37am<b>MothaTeresa</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 5:23am<b>Hunter4413</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:36am

xoamy906's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

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You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.


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xoamy906's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom told me to break a leg before performing in my dancing school's show. I really did break part of my leg while performing. FML

by dancingqueef / 06/21/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

by stinky car / 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

by JimiHendrix / 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Health

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML

by shaviTuT / 02/07/2013 at 2:44pm / Malaysia (Johor) / Animals

Today, my 17 year old boyfriend's mother bought him a giraffe onesie. He refused to take it off and insisted on wearing it everywhere we go. We live in Australia and it's our summer now. So far he has passed out 3 times in public because he over heated, but he still won't take it off. FML

by GiraffeLover / 01/11/2013 at 6:36am / Australia / Love

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

by ugh / 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

by troll of a gran / 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

by troll of a gran / 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2012 at 8:59am / United States / Kids

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous