Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xlord

Online | Search for a member

xlord

23Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14234
  • Number of comments : 537
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About xlord : I have travelled the world and spent millions of dollars to discover how to make the best rated FML comments. The secret is to create 173 accounts.

xlord's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - 3 hours ago<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 6:29am<b>MidnightB</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 11:26pm<b>Sudoc</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:13am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:25am<b>ThatNutOverThere</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 3:28pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 1:34am<b>puckislife7</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 7:45am<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 4:46am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 2:48am<b>EclipseCandy6</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:26am<b>ethan_18</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:07am<b>jessal</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:46pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 6:17pm<b>HerpityDerp</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Miouxsangster</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:38pm<b>meghanngaines</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 10:42am<b>Diablitos</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:41pm

Fucked!<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 12:29pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 6:25am<b>Miouxsangster</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 8:39pm<b>carilica</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 10:20pm<b>alain4343</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:10pm<b>dyne808</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 8:20pm<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 3:34am<b>lilferrit</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:09am<b>notzax</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:43am<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:02pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:13am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:26pm<b>Lesser</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:22pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 6:05am<b>jcshadow</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 4:40am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:11am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:46am

xlord's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of xlord's badges

xlord's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

#19218186
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30858) - you deserved it (2768)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (1916)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

#19146021
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23873) - you deserved it (3985)

On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my grandpa while he was gardening outside. Suddenly I feel this hard, salty thing fly into my mouth and I spit it out. It turned out to be a beetle. My grandpa takes one look at the beetle and says, "Well, at least that poor bug finally got you to shut up." FML

#19119481
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (6190)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by vw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (3785)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML

#19098700
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33212) - you deserved it (4250)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:44am - love - by Cheap N Happy (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40856) - you deserved it (10083)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (4436)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML

#19033739
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27120) - you deserved it (16469)

On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

#19032075
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26172) - you deserved it (3830)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

#19032075
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26172) - you deserved it (3830)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States

Today, my mom friended all my friends on Facebook then thought it'd be a good idea to try and act like a teen so she'd be considered 'cool'. FML

#18989889
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25602) - you deserved it (2408)

On 02/04/2012 at 3:13am - misc - by lrgenesis - United States (Oregon)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44774) - you deserved it (9505)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML

#18977119
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31737) - you deserved it (6066)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32154) - you deserved it (2670)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: