xlorawrz

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Offline (the 12/03/2016 at 3:40pm)

xlorawrz

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 22 April 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2369
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xlorawrz : I'm not good at writing these, so...
Bye.

xlorawrz's page activity

Visits<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 6:27pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 10:02pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 9:03pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 6:58pm<b>knitsuga</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 7:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 9:52am<b>jordanwilbanks</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 12:45pm<b>infernno</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 12:55am<b>laynethefirst</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:16pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 6:51pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 5:05am<b>DABOSS_14</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 10:15pm<b>Cumminsdan</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 6:01pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 1:08am<b>ugafan29379</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 12:37am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 12:50pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 6:04pm<b>byattwain</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:24am

Fucked!<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 3:52pm<b>DABOSS_14</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 4:14am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 12:05am<b>Markovski</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:49am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:24pm

xlorawrz's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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xlorawrz's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

by svunimportant / 05/28/2015 at 11:40am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2015 at 11:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

by oncehipjr / 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2014 at 11:57am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

by SharkWeek / 10/27/2013 at 11:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

by O-|---<=~ / 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I received a text saying, "I don't think we should be friends anymore. You're terribly depressing and you make everyone unhappy" followed by, "Oops, wrong person!" and then by, "Sorry, it really is for you". FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

by ImNotFat / 08/07/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was browsing porn in my room, when my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab, only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open, so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said, "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help, son." FML

by fuck / 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML

by grammarnazi-forareason / 07/03/2013 at 2:48am / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Work

Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm / Nigeria (Lagos) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

by stutterboy / 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

by fuck kids / 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML