Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 2000 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5687
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xivoricbutterfly : Seid ihr das Essen?
Nein, wir sind der Jäger!

I'm Sarah Hello I like to dance around seductively while eating a onions its my mating call. Dont question my weirdness embrass it.
Favorite TV shows: Attack on titans fo life son.Greys anatomy, Super fun night, Drop dead diva, Legend of Korra, Avatar the last air bender. Orange is the new black
Internet fights never win. The Perks of being a Wallflower best movie ever seriously though like Patrick is the shit his boyfriend was a dick. Im a street cred person fool...Ill beat you up unless you got the ice creams seriously ill love you forever. TEEN WOLF TEEN WOLF TEEN WOLF! The Duff was pretty good
Black butler. Best series of all time. Oh Bassy How terrifying (*.*) the third season of Black butler was awesome..Sao is life *Steven Universe*
I got a big bick. You read that wrong. The awkward when you read moment after awkward. Chat me up anytime I dont bite unless you want me to ;). My pretend boyfriend is calling bye.

xivoricbutterfly's page activity

Visits<b>WD_Stevens</b> - 7 hours ago<b>ShroomSalad</b> - yesterday at 2:49pm<b>iT_Cereal</b> - yesterday at 8:15am<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 2:23pm<b>devi_916</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 10:03am<b>iHyperModz</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:40am<b>CODplayer4lyfe</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:18am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:24pm<b>smarti1809</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 9:54am<b>oasis359</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:47pm<b>Snano</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 9:57am<b>bwoolf96</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:10am<b>XlDeathshadowXl</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 7:52pm<b>TheJasonLi</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 5:58pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 6:45am<b>conivore723</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 3:32pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 10:21pm<b>HeidiZiggler</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 9:15pm

Fucked!<b>conivore723</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 9:33pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 12:15am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:34pm<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:16pm<b>benlridder</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:19pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 5:45am<b>iampuppy</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 9:11am<b>MasterTron</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 4:09pm<b>TacoloverSWE</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 4:36pm<b>mds9986</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:35am<b>Miouxsangster</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:04am<b>sonasonic</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 6:08pm<b>mustangbravo</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 6:55pm<b>FlamingJazkinz</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:46am<b>DFMLharsh</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:21pm<b>cOOkiEzRgOOd</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:48pm<b>Thatepicperson</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:25pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 8:29pm

xivoricbutterfly's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of xivoricbutterfly's badges

xivoricbutterfly's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents made me quit a school team that I absolutely loved, because women "aren't supposed to play sports." and were worried that if I stayed on the team, I'd develop a manly physique. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (1333)

On 09/01/2015 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "5 more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (21262) - you deserved it (1868)

On 09/01/2015 at 7:07am - health - by Dehydrated - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17409) - you deserved it (2634)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26700) - you deserved it (2037)

On 08/30/2015 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that while my sister can somehow manage to keep an eye on and control her three preschool-aged children at the park, making sure nobody steals my dog from right beside her is just too big of a job. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19634) - you deserved it (2728)

On 08/30/2015 at 9:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I met my fiancé's much older sister for the first time. Turns out she is actually my old high school English teacher who used to make me cry at least 3 times a week. It's been three hours and I've accidentally called her Miss Willow 4 times and been reduced to tears twice. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25290) - you deserved it (2722)

On 08/30/2015 at 8:13am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23045) - you deserved it (1960)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, marks the third girlfriend in a row that has broken up with me for my terrible dandruff. I can't control it as I was born with psoriasis. All three girls called me pathetic for "making up" a disease to try to get them to stay. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21750) - you deserved it (1504)

On 08/29/2015 at 3:20pm - love - by babypenguin00 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mum took away my laptop and my phone and won't let me call, text, or go out with friends for one month. Why? I left the toilet seat up. I'm writing this from a public library. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22674) - you deserved it (3165)

On 08/29/2015 at 10:06am - misc - by Lord Buttfuck IV (man) - France

Today, my doctor died. Last week, after a check up I'd had because I was worried about a cough, he told me not to worry because I was as healthy as he was. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23754) - you deserved it (1661)

On 08/29/2015 at 4:50am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that I won't be able to attend my own wedding, because I'll be in a mandatory training class that doesn't allow people to take vacation for any reason. So now we've wasted $10,000, and I can't even fly home for one day. All because I got promoted unexpectedly. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23719) - you deserved it (1868)

On 08/28/2015 at 4:05pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Friuli-Venezia Giulia)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, the nine year old girl I was babysitting got the hiccups, so I told her to drink some water upside down to cure them. She ended up vomiting on the floor. FML

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML


Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML

FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: