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xherbertx

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xherbertx
  • Town/Country : st. andrews, scotland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 November 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 42
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xherbertx's favorite FMLs

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37451) - you deserved it (4366)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

#21037837
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41875) - you deserved it (4962)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:28am - misc - by Estee1024 - United States (California)

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

#21035253
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (4993)

On 01/21/2014 at 5:27pm - health - by cuntocracy (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

#21033122
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38430) - you deserved it (7123)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by I.Want.Food. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48296) - you deserved it (29431)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her "God damned fucking cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML

#20934627
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29408) - you deserved it (3267)

On 10/26/2013 at 2:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I have been single and out of the game for so long that instead of having real wet dreams, I now dream about jacking off. FML

#20436185
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29805) - you deserved it (5468)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lonely dreams - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (23482)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

#19563224
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5596) - you deserved it (80670)

On 05/02/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by f*ck (man) - United States

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50156) - you deserved it (10127)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

#18624814
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8059) - you deserved it (33157)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)

Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

#18346597
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35591) - you deserved it (8082)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

#17719852
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11395) - you deserved it (54821)

On 09/11/2011 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by Extended_desktop (man) - Poland

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34142) - you deserved it (5081)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18678) - you deserved it (39367)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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