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xfireds

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xfireds

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4702
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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xfireds's page activity

Visits<b>Noah98</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 11:48am<b>artsyphan</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 1:03pm<b>carOLinneeeeeee</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:37am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 2:18pm

xfireds's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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xfireds's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents heard about the decision to make same-sex marriage legal in all states. They're so outraged that they're even talking about getting a house in Canada. They're in for a surprise. FML

#21432698
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28378) - you deserved it (2284)

On 06/27/2015 at 5:38am - misc - by MovingtoCanada (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

#21430924
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31673) - you deserved it (1801)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (3151)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend dumped sand into the crankcase of my truck and then filled it to the top with water after I dumped him for being immature and not respecting my things. FML

#21427999
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29005) - you deserved it (2974)

On 06/18/2015 at 8:36am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

#21427509
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34428) - you deserved it (3158)

On 06/17/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by Lesbihonest (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29549) - you deserved it (8592)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35147) - you deserved it (6957)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

#21421616
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26862) - you deserved it (4315)

On 06/06/2015 at 1:52am - animals - by iamfab - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35850) - you deserved it (2542)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31154) - you deserved it (2905)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
102 comments

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25918) - you deserved it (22667)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30195) - you deserved it (3562)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

#21392745
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29390) - you deserved it (3059)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:35am - intimacy - by bigmouthedmommy - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

#21392651
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28640) - you deserved it (2369)

On 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm - misc - by mademoiselle meurtre (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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