- Town/Country : Flushing, United States
- Title : Mister
- Birth Date : Wednesday 15 June 1994 (22 years old)
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 7255
- Number of comments : 8
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted
About xcarlito615x : .
About xcarlito615x : .
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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by killme / 02/29/2016 at 2:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner / 11/16/2015 at 1:44am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/04/2015 at 1:26pm / United States (New York) / Health
by why do eggs explode / 10/12/2015 at 5:35pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by not impressed / 10/09/2015 at 2:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we started having sex for the first time. All was going well until he ran to the bathroom mid-sex and I had to listen to him with explosive diarrhea. The worst part is, he wanted to keep going after. FML
by westie732 / 09/09/2015 at 10:44pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by NightHawk4926 / 09/09/2015 at 6:15pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals
by kobolobo / 08/11/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by pudh / 08/05/2015 at 7:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 07/30/2015 at 6:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML
by alison / 07/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML
by notquitejuliet / 07/03/2015 at 8:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous