Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xashleyxdianex

Search for a member

xashleyxdianex
  • Town/Country : Boone, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 May 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1699
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xashleyxdianex : Hey there. I'm a freshman Computer Science major and Criminal Justice minor at ASU.

xashleyxdianex's last visitors

thatotklancerkiddlomichaelm1290jordi55FreezeRiileylittlesunshinefuckingbiglifeMr_SuperRawrX3meg238f

xashleyxdianex's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of xashleyxdianex's badges

xashleyxdianex's favorite FMLs

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35157) - you deserved it (3907)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset so I politely asked where is bathroom was so I could "powder my nose". After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML

#17134367
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33680) - you deserved it (4170)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:18am - misc - by anonymous - Canada

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (8187)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I grinned for five minutes straight because my friends told me it would put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. It gave me a migraine. FML

#17122126
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13114) - you deserved it (21430)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:14pm - health - by so much for a good day - United States

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

#17121994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24378) - you deserved it (4579)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52775) - you deserved it (9114)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my long distance girlfriend after two years of being separated by 900 miles. She brought her short distance boyfriend to the meeting. FML

#17113605
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (6528)

On 07/14/2011 at 10:22pm - love - by longtriphome (man) - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13845) - you deserved it (61779)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML

#17109341
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29565) - you deserved it (5080)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41950) - you deserved it (10569)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41950) - you deserved it (10569)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41950) - you deserved it (10569)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41950) - you deserved it (10569)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML

#17098428
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27459) - you deserved it (1866)

On 07/13/2011 at 7:49pm - misc - by argh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML

#17097344
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40189) - you deserved it (5549)

On 07/13/2011 at 6:01pm - love - by 30Jenna - Canada (Ontario)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: