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Offline (18 hours ago)



  • Town/Country : Denver, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 December 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1399
  • Number of comments : 239
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xalex1218 : Hello and welcome to my profile, I hope you enjoy your stay! My name is Alex (You've probably guessed that already though) and I live in California. I like to spend my time either playing baseball and video games, or hanging out with my friends and I also play guitar and I like to watch anime. Message me if you'd like, I will most likely reply back eventually. I'm fairly active because reading FMLs makes me feel better about all of the dumb things that I do. Thanks for stopping by and make sure you close the door on your way out... Don't want a draft in here.

xalex1218's page activity

Visits<b>sophiehelen</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 1:47am<b>hayleybaaby</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 5:53pm<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 1:24pm<b>Super_Asian_Boy</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:38pm<b>LeapingLizards12</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 3:14am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 10:34pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:38am<b>TMWhisp</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 2:40pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 11:31am<b>CaityMandy</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 12:49am<b>hope1103</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 2:05am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 1:35am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 3:08am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 12:15am<b>andrmac</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 7:48pm<b>biggins224</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 10:39am<b>JordanA136</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 1:26pm<b>Sir_ND_Pity</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 8:22pm

Fucked!<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 7:24pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:48am<b>coyotefox</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 12:10am<b>EwahWeeWah</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:56pm<b>Babygirl117</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 9:40pm<b>TiggyBonkers</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 7:37am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:59am<b>NoBothersForMe</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 7:34pm<b>courtneylynn2464</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 6:41am<b>Supernatural1234</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 3:12pm<b>trucker2</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 8:04am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 7:58pm<b>iShitOnOptimus</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 7:45pm<b>im_a_squid</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 7:17pm<b>piratekeeper01</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 5:35pm<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 3:51pm<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 8:50pm<b>TimeBandit17</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 5:05am

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xalex1218's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

by HouseWife / 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I took this girl out that I've been crushing on for 2 years to a fancy restaurant. At one point during the date, I had to get up to take a massive dump. As I was walking back to the table, a little boy stood up and shouted, "THAT'S THE POOPOO MAN" in front of the whole restaurant. FML

by taman / 09/12/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

by catlady1989 / 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

by Rhyno / 05/05/2009 at 11:37am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

by hannah / 04/14/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (Devon) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

by lanbon182 / 04/10/2009 at 1:11am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

by GuitarChick42 / 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy