About xZombieCandyx : Destroy all that which is evil so that which is good may flourish. In nomine patre, et fili, et spiritus sancti.
xZombieCandyx's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
xZombieCandyx's favorite FMLs
by whatno / 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by WHOO HOO AIDS / 06/01/2013 at 2:52pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Miscellaneous
Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML
by WTFruits / 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML
by longsock123 / 04/30/2013 at 11:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML
by esbemebe1113 / 03/27/2013 at 5:12pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek
Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML
by Dimples / 01/03/2013 at 6:35am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- Today, I went to go get smokes. Leaving the store I saw who I thought was a friend of mine walking.… Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask the girl I like out. Turns out she just decided she was a… Today, I found out I have an ingrown toenail. I have my Senior Prom in 3 days and it hurts so bad I…