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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9247
  • Number of comments : 299
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About xXLenaXx : Oh hai.

I study French and Japanese at uni in the UK. Nothing pretentious; I, in fact, suck quite badly.

I hate wet socks and butterflies and Mariah Carey. Also see-through carrier bags, and punk music.
Anything else, I can cope with. :)

I HEART Ludovico Einaudi. Best composer ever. :D

Gory films steal my heart. The more psycho, the better ;) SAW films are yum.

I don't bite too hard, so msg me. :)

xXLenaXx's page activity

Visits<b>Brianna809</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 4:54pm<b>Scootythedog</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 8:35pm<b>tabypatchkid</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 6:23am<b>Maxwellminpin</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 12:47am<b>najraa</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 8:02pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 11:24pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 4:36pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:11pm<b>ripjawed</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:53am<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:10am<b>yehyeh</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 12:54pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 7:25pm<b>mwhahahahahaha</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 9:04pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 4:41am<b>SimonAndMarcy</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 1:35pm<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 3:38pm<b>this_cali_boy</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 9:07pm<b>Arsenal82</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 3:57pm

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 5:24am

xXLenaXx's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

xXLenaXx's favorite FMLs

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe... with my foot. FML

by Bruce / 08/17/2010 at 1:09pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

by mrboston / 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

by fearofzombies / 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

by dumbo / 07/30/2009 at 10:43am / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

by imfromtexas02 / 06/06/2009 at 10:03am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

by SpiderMan / 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

by janedoe / 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

by N / 02/08/2009 at 3:04am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral and on his way out I wanted to say something. All I could think of was "have fun". FML

by jalopenos / 01/29/2009 at 5:27am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Work

Today, for the 25th time, an Indian called my cell phone asking for 'Pinkie'. I don't know who the hell Pinkie is, but I don't appreciate people calling wrong numbers while I'm having it off. FML

by Hth / 11/07/2008 at 8:07pm / United States (Delaware) / Love