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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 October 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11045
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xDochx : I'm that sexy beast in the photo- a bucket of nutella. I tend to lurk in the comments, usually they're better than the fml. If I've looked at your profile multiple times, sorry, not trying to creep. I just forgot and some of the pictures are funny.....Or you said something that revealed your incredible stupidity and made me.curious as to why you are cripplingly ignorant Don't I sound lovely? :D Cats are soft. Du bist fettleibig und ich will fließend auf Deutsch sein. Leider bin ich noch nicht aber das wird bald verändern!

xDochx's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/07/2016 at 2:59pm<b>PaeshR</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 4:28am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 2:37am<b>GolgiTendonOs</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:03pm<b>Joshoa123</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:51pm<b>pineapples</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:26pm<b>colton_colton</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:37am<b>Vanlendauman</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 11:27pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 12:34am<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 11:15pm<b>Mightyrif</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 9:33pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Mc2013</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 6:33pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 12:05pm<b>mixinitup</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:55pm<b>ez24_</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:26pm<b>theoneandonlybro</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 11:26pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 11:36am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 3:23pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:34am

xDochx's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of xDochx's badges

xDochx's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

by Kaddiscott / 01/20/2014 at 5:12am / Italy (Trentino-Alto Adige) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

by awkword / 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Animals

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

by bleach bleach bleach / 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

by Anon / 12/18/2013 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came across a tourist in the street asking people for directions, but nobody understood him. I speak English, so I went to help the gentleman out. He said "Knock it off with the cheesy accent, pal" and informed me that my country is a shithole. FML

by thank u usa / 12/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML

by justin / 12/12/2013 at 10:08pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML