Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

xAwkwardTurtle

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

xAwkwardTurtle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 16 February 1945 (70 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 373
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About xAwkwardTurtle : hello.
^_^~

xAwkwardTurtle's page activity

Visits<b>illusong</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 3:40pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 7:07pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 7:49pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:57am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 6:07pm<b>tori_1434</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:58pm<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 12:58am<b>eezila</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 1:27pm<b>barreiroj</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 3:45pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 6:35pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 2:04pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 1:34am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 5:54pm<b>SavannahSunshine</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:22pm<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 8:28am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 10:55pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 10:48pm

xAwkwardTurtle's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of xAwkwardTurtle's badges

xAwkwardTurtle's favorite FMLs

TODAY , WHILE WANDERING AROUND THE BIG CITY I JUST RELOCATD TO , I ASKD A SEEMINGLY PLEASANT-LOOKING LADY WHERE THE NEREEST LIBRARY WAS. SHE TOLD ME TO GET LOST , AND STARTD LAUGHING. THEN SAID SHE WAS JUST JOKING AND GAVE ME DIRECTIONS. I'M NOW STANDING IN FRONT OF A GAY STRIP JOINT. FML

#21225641
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42632) - you deserved it (4381)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:38am - misc - by lostintdot (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a new session startd for mah swimming squad . I walkd down to the pool, trippd over a stray equipment bag, and belly-floppd into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothd . I'm the coach . real FML

#21225439
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40341) - you deserved it (4661)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... I fell asleep at my bus stop following a long day at work. I woke up to a homeless man giggling after he had clipped dozens of clothespins to my clothes... shoes... an hair in my sleep. mega FML

#20964867
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37207) - you deserved it (7409)

On 11/20/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by 43_clothespins_later (woman) - United States (Virginia)

TADAY I TURNED 30. WHILE ALL MY FRIEND R GETTING MARRIED, FURTHERING CAREER AND HAVING CHILDREN, I'M STILL SAT AROUND BIENG AS IMMATURE AS I WAS AS A TEENAGER. I'M GOING THROUGH A CLASSIC CASE OF PREMATURE AGE-JACULATION. I LAUGHED FOR 10 MINUTE AFTER COMING UP WITH THAT. FML

Today... mah boyfriend startd coming onto me... despite me being on mah period. He said it was okay... an we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread mah legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy... I did. He then yelld... ( I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA! ) an broke down in laughter.

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56004) - you deserved it (14673)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

#18588984
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26125) - you deserved it (4331)

On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was riding te subway to work. Barely anyone was on cuz of ow early it was. Me and tis one guy in a trenc coat were in te same cart. looool His stop came. He walked by me, flased me, rubbed is penis on ma arm, and ten ran away really fast. mega FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (129142) - you deserved it (9652)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: