Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wtffml1979

Online | Search for a member

wtffml1979

11Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 924
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About wtffml1979 : About me? What about you?

wtffml1979's page activity

Visits<b>juststephhere</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:39pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 10:18pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:10pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:03am<b>patts_</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:50pm<b>Shipley18</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:19am<b>afranklin212</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 11:39pm<b>SlimDanny</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:36pm<b>skye147</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 2:44pm<b>debragoetz</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:58pm<b>helloyes</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:41am<b>Sir_Nameless</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:06am<b>allylundberg</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:34am<b>TrashSnail</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 10:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 2:04pm<b>HairyPunisher</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 10:47am<b>SadSouthernBell</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 10:40am<b>CaitieNicole</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 1:00am

Fucked!<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:03am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 8:04pm<b>justinzs</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 8:02pm<b>davie94</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 12:47pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 7:29am<b>misjell94</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 6:56am<b>mizz_brandi</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 5:00am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 10:39am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 1:31am<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 1:38pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 4:10pm

wtffml1979's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of wtffml1979's badges

wtffml1979's favorite FMLs

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (5768)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I made my mom cookies for Mother's Day. My brother took all the cookies to work as a snack, because I didn't specifically tell him that the homemade "MOM" hearts weren't meant for him. FML

#21408187
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (1922)

On 05/11/2015 at 12:23am - love - by CryoSpectre - United States (California)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33801) - you deserved it (5235)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a cute, new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

#21399135
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26638) - you deserved it (3394)

On 04/24/2015 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37027) - you deserved it (2443)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, my boss' incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML

#21399022
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29719) - you deserved it (1756)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Qatar (Ad Dawhah)

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30038) - you deserved it (3338)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32397) - you deserved it (4733)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother admitted to me that she sends me up and down the stairs to get things for her because she thinks I could use the exercise. FML

#21388731
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25170) - you deserved it (4659)

On 04/06/2015 at 4:49pm - health - by TheRunaway21 (woman) - United States

Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML

#21387117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28919) - you deserved it (5470)

On 04/03/2015 at 5:15pm - kids - by no, YOU raised him (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML

#21387075
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24805) - you deserved it (3297)

On 04/03/2015 at 3:05pm - misc - by HtotheFtotheS - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

#21384262
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27857) - you deserved it (1774)

On 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm - work - by bingalingading (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

#21380370
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26229) - you deserved it (13957)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by Li - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32880) - you deserved it (6575)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: