wordly

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wordly

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 26748
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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wordly's page activity

Visits<b>doubledee8</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 3:42pm<b>crystalhale</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 5:44pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 12:10pm<b>HitTheRoadJacK3</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:40am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 12:10pm<b>PussyPounder69</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 10:38pm<b>bende</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 12:19am<b>carlgl</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 7:01am<b>Mels361</b> - the 03/27/2010 at 10:25am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 10:41pm<b>yuri_dragon_17</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 10:33pm<b>aback</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 9:43pm<b>roundnproud</b> - the 06/28/2009 at 1:01pm<b>gowzer90</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 7:13pm<b>nokiac_b</b> - the 06/13/2009 at 12:20am<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 3:32pm<b>Savanni</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 6:46pm<b>cbrown89</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 12:49am

Fucked!<b>crystalhale</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 11:44pm

wordly's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

wordly's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the allergist. I found out that I am allergic to dogs, cats, wool, fleece, and pet dander. I'm currently planning to go to school to become a veterinarian. FML

by KMack / 10/29/2009 at 12:36pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Work

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I realized that when my new roommate said we could both use the condoms he bought, he didn't mean separately. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 5:58am / New Zealand (Otago) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML

by HotToTrotskyite / 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML

by GhettoBeast / 09/08/2009 at 12:42am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids

Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML

by BoredRunner42 / 09/07/2009 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep during naptime. I'm the teacher. FML

by yogabbagabba / 09/03/2009 at 1:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

by Sarah / 08/25/2009 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my boyfriend and his parents met my family. My grandpa thought it would be funny to walk around with a realistic gun and make references about being in the mafia. The rest of my family went along with it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told by this big guy from school that I needed to stop stalking his girlfriend, and stop following her home from school. She's my neighbor. FML

by ostfae / 08/21/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous