About woosah : We do live in igloos...
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woosah's favorite FMLs
Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML
by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health
Today, I was leaving the grocery store when an old woman started yelling at me for not holding the door open for her. She accused me of being "everything wrong with the younger generation". It was an automatic door. FML
by Greg / 10/28/2013 at 5:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
by kiwibox / 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Animals
by the_lameo_geek / 10/20/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
by cantcloselegs / 10/20/2013 at 8:39am / United States / Health
Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML
by SaveMeTeddy / 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML
by oneiPodlighter / 10/09/2013 at 11:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money
by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by CreamGravy / 10/06/2013 at 9:54am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML
by jessel_ladd92 / 09/09/2013 at 2:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 7:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:03am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…