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wonglizy

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wonglizy

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Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 7:16pm

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wonglizy's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML

#21014568
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37392) - you deserved it (7767)

On 01/02/2014 at 6:49pm - misc - by Andrew (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52025) - you deserved it (7217)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42351) - you deserved it (10458)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49002) - you deserved it (4337)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54906) - you deserved it (6349)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82822) - you deserved it (11606)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML

#20681698
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46285) - you deserved it (2725)

On 05/23/2013 at 12:40pm - love - by a single fuck (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60782) - you deserved it (20271)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present for my boyfriend. While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if my boyfriend wore briefs or boxers, because both were on sale. Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26873) - you deserved it (12704)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by picture, during a game of Draw Something. FML

#20042043
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (2006)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:03am - love - by wtf - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11533) - you deserved it (154067)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML

#19580511
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (3702)

On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25355) - you deserved it (7736)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML

#18778372
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14286) - you deserved it (44074)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)



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