About wondercat40 : Hey! If you ever need to let off steam or anything or talk about thing, feel free to message me about it! I won't judge, and I don't bite!
wondercat40's FML badges
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
wondercat40's favorite FMLs
Today, I was finally going to break down my social barrier by going out on a date with a nice guy I recently met on a dating site. Just at the start of the date, he asked me how old I was, and out of pure nervousness, I blurted out, "12!" I'm 24. FML
by 12yearsoldapparently / 07/06/2015 at 7:02pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML
by Alex Andreas / 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals
Today, the main file and backups of the book I've been writing for 2 and a half years mysteriously vanished. It turned out my mum decided that me spending so much time in my room must mean I'm watching porn, and so she trashed everything. FML
by 4lphab3t4 / 06/11/2015 at 10:37am / United Kingdom (Harrow) / Miscellaneous
Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML
by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 5:08am / Maldives (Maale) / Miscellaneous
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
by W T F / 06/03/2015 at 3:22am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/29/2015 at 10:23am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML
by mobigomo / 05/27/2015 at 2:48am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my cat has decided she can't eat unless I'm right there with her, so when she gets hungry she finds me and howls until I follow her to her food dish. She likes to eat pretty frequently, and I'm already getting a headache. FML
by VeganVampyre / 05/23/2015 at 1:07pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML
by Bonnie and Clyde / 05/07/2015 at 10:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML
by Kira / 04/24/2015 at 1:09pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals
Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML
by PeppermintPenny / 04/06/2015 at 9:54am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Intimacy
by SupportPage / 03/31/2015 at 9:41am / United States (California) / Geek
by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Duckzy / 02/07/2015 at 5:34pm / United States / Animals
by WickedLittleDoll / 12/01/2014 at 11:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…